Amerasian

by Lam Ho

In Amerasian, poet Lam Ho unravels the generational weight of identity, beauty, and belonging. This poignant piece explores the haunting legacy of war and mixed heritage through the eyes of a daughter tracing the myth and mystery of her mother—searching, remembering, and reckoning with what lingers in the bloodline.

They never threw rocks at us in Vietnam,  

but under a helmet, they saw the waves in my hair.  

Mom said she still wondered about her father,  

that faceless man who made her a demigod.  

I am the daughter of the myth of old:  

Her face, her figure, a mystery none of us could solve.  

At the local McDonald’s, she got soft serve for free.  

Why? No one had ever seen a face like hers:  

And in the mirror as I wash my hands, I remember  

Ba resenting that white blood in our veins,  

The reason Mẹ came here was because 

she was the first of her kind—

 American-born father, Vietnamese mother, and I can’t say  

whether my mother’s face is haunted or haunting,  

but I will say she left a trail of broken hearts  

passing on her treasured beauty—an Old Testament to this New World. 

How many threads cross between us now?  

That time was so long ago,  

yet that quarter of me still searches  

in the night for the man we never knew.  

When I see another Amerasian’s face, I wonder:  

What lonely places did you find in the night?  

Did you embrace the ogling?  

When did they stop throwing rocks at you in the street?  

Did they ever stop?  

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Lam Ho is a communications professional and climate action advocate based in the Southeastern United States. A graduate of Sewanee: The University of the South, she holds degrees in English and Environment & Sustainability. Her writing—spanning poetry, personal essays, and literary fiction—is inspired by her travels, romantic entanglements, and the rich storytelling of her immigrant parents. Currently working on her debut novel, Lam has also begun sharing her poetry through spoken word performances. She lives with a mildly famous cat named Jose.